Saturday, 20 September 2014

I'M A WARRIOR


This is a story that I have never told
I gotta get this off my chest to let it go
I need to take back the light inside you stole
You're a criminal
And you steal like you're a pro

All the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
So ashamed, so confused
I was broken and bruised

Now I'm a warrior
Now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me again

Out of the ashes, I'm burning like a fire
You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar
I've got shame, I've got scars
That I will never show
I'm a survivor
In more ways than you know

Cause all the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
So ashamed, so confused
I'm not broken or bruised

'Cause now I'm a warrior
Now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me

There's a part of me I can't get back
A little girl grew up too fast
All it took was once, I'll never be the same
Now I'm taking back my life today
Nothing left that you can say
Cause you are never gonna take the blame anyway

Now I'm a warrior
I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me again

No oh, yeah, yeah

You can never hurt me again

-Demi Lovato_Warrior-

Thursday, 4 September 2014

# I'm Done # I Don't Care Anymore # Wow!



Maybe I should've known, maybe I should've known
That you would walk, you would walk out the door, hey!

Said we were done, then met someone and rubbed it in my face
Cut to the part, she broke your heart, and then she ran away
I guess you should've known, I guess you should've known
That I would talk, I would talk

But even if the stars and moon collide
I never want you back into my life
You can take your words and all your lies
Oh oh oh I really don't care
Even if the stars and moon collide
I never want you back into my life
You can take your words and all your lies
Oh oh oh I really don't care
Oh oh oh I really don't care

I can't believe I ever stayed up writing songs about you
You don't deserve to know the way I used to think about you
Oh no not anymore, oh no not anymore
You had your shot, had your shot, but you let go

Now if we meet out on the street I won't be running scared
I'll walk right up to you and put one finger in the air
And make you understand, and make you understand
You had your chance, had your chance

But even if the stars and moon collide
I never want you back into my life
You can take your words and all your lies
Oh oh oh I really don't care
Even if the stars and moon collide
I never want you back into my life
You can take your words and all your lies
Oh oh oh I really don't care
Oh oh oh I really don't care

Yeah, listen up
Hey, hey, never look back,
Dumb struck boy, ego intact
Look boy, why you so mad
Second guessin', but should've hit that
Hey Demi, you picked the wrong lover
Should've picked that one, he's cuter than the other
I just wanna laugh, cause you're tryna be a hipster
Kick him to the curb, take a Polaroid picture


Oh oh oh I really don't care

-Demi Lovato_Really Don't Care-

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!



I know I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
'Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

-Christina Perry_Jar Of Hearts-

It Hurts


I can’t, it hurts, please don’t do this
If you get to know me, I’m a small and soft girl
You’re bad, I hate you, can’t you really see me?
Look at me, I want to be in love with you
I’m smiling but why am I crying?
I’m here but where are you looking?
Look at me, calling you from behind
I love you, I love you, only you
You’re my painful love
A love that’s by my side but a love I can’t have
Only you, only you, I love you
Because of this painful love, it doesn’t stop
Tears keep coming, I love you
I know, I don’t like it, I hate myself for being like this
It’s strange, I close my eyes but I see you
When will you reach me?
Whose name are your lips calling?
Look at me, I’m calling you from behind
I love you, I love you, only you
You’re my painful love
A love that’s by my side but a love I can’t have
Only you, only you, I love you
Because of this painful love, it doesn’t stop
Tears keep coming, I love you
Please look back just once, at least once
Don’t say that I’m just a friend
I love you, I love you, why can’t you hear?
Must I say it for you to know?
I’m by your side not as a friend but as a lover
Only you, only you, I love you
Because of this painful love, it doesn’t stop
Tears keep coming, I love you
-T-Ara_ Hurts-

You Make Me A Fool


It’s all my fault
I’m sorry for being selfish
But I don’t think I did anything wrong but to like you
Fine, I’ll admit it
That person is better than me
It was so hard to come all this way
You don’t know, you don’t know my heart
You really don’t know
If you do this, you make me a fool
You don’t know, you really don’t know
You make me a fool, you make me a fool
We need to straighten things up right now
I understand everything so please be clear
I hate you but I’ll miss you, although it’ll be really hard
I want to be the guy who will be your excuse
I want to know your heart now
Lady, why can’t you look into my eyes, why’re you avoiding me?
Why do you keep uselessly saying that you’re sorry?
It hurts and it’s hard but I can’t say anything
What do to with myself?
No one knows my heart babe
I still can’t forget you, I still can’t ignore my feelings
So I’m writing a letter that I’ll never send
Close your eyes and listen to this song
Even if you don’t say it, I know now
An answer with no assurance, wishy-washy feelings
You put me up and put me down, you’re a mystery
I’m the only one in love between us, it’s meaningless
I don’t care if I become the bad guy
So you can tell me now
And listen to this song here
You don’t know, you don’t know my heart
You really don’t know
If you do this, you make me a fool
You don’t know, you really don’t know
You still don’t know my heart

-B1A4_You Make Me A Fool-

MEAN Person, BAD Man


How can it be so painful much when there are no scars?
How can it hurt so much, as if I’ve caught a nasty cold
You are so mean, you are so bad
Was my innocent love that fun to you?
All day, I curse at you and hate you, as if I forgot you
But the more I do so, the more tears flow

Sweet, sweet – even the sweet whispers of love
I didn’t know that they were all lies
I was still young so I believed everything you told me
And I regret that so much

You are so mean, you are so bad
Are tears the last part of love that you taught me?

I want to meet someone better than you
And smile every single day
Watch over the happy me from afar

You are such a mean person, you are such a bad man.
-Juniel_Bad Man-

Monday, 17 March 2014

Mengacom a.k.a Mengadu Domba

16 March 2014..... pukul 11 lebih malam...

Huuu.....lepas berlatih buah Silat Cekak dari buah pertama sampai ke-20, dapat buah khas level potong dengan tgn yg belum sembuh 100%, seriously memang mencabar malam tadi.
Penat tak ada.... tapi perit.... sakit kowt... maka berbalut semula tangan kanan aku...

Sambil duk balut tangan.... here comes perbualan biasa tetapi compact dgn pengajaran....
Pesanan drpd seorang lelaki seumuran abah-ku mengenai hukum kehidupan dan agama yang selama ini terlepas pandang....

Abg Hazri : Allah tak suka orang yang MENGACOM.

Aku dan Shaz : Mengacom? ape tu, abg Hazri?

Abg Hazri : Mengacom tak tahu?

Aku dan Shaz : *geleng* Bukan achoom tu bersin kew?

Abg Hazri : Haha... bukan tulah Mak Lang.... Mengacom tu mcm mengadu domba.... memecah belahkan kaum sesama kita. Nabi Muhammad pun tak suka, umat Islam bergaduh sesama sendiri.

Aku dah tersentak. tertanya-tanya sendiri... adakah usaha aku yang aku rasakan utk mendamaikan perbalahan antara rakan-rakan aku..... dikira SEBAGAI MENGACOM? kerana aku menjadi org tengah di antara mereka? maka, aku pun bertanyakan hal ini kepada abg Hazri.

Aku : Abg Hazri.... macam mana kalau kesnya... saya menjadi pengantara utk sahabat2 saya yang tengah bergaduh, A & B. saya menyampaikan apa yang A katakan pada si B dan apa yang B cakap pada si A. Adakah itu dikira sebagai mengacom?

Abg Hazri : Maksudnya Mak Lang menjadi org tengah?

Aku : *angguk*

Abg Hazri : Lepas Mak Lang buat macam tu, adakah diaorang makin baik atau makin teruk?

Aku : *Diam* worst.....

Abg Hazri : *senyum* see? It's not worth it, Mak Lang... Ya, tahu. Niat Mak Lang baik... tapi mak lang, kita tak ada kemampuan utk mendamaikan mereka melainkan diri mereka sendiri dan Guru. mak lang tlg mcm ni, mak lang yg tanggung dosa mereka kalau mereka tak berbaik lebih dari tiga hari.

Aku : *facepalm*! Allah!!! Saya lupa, abg Hazri. Umat Islam kalau tak bertegur lebih drpd 3 hari dikira DOSA BESAR!

Abg Hazri : Apalah itu pun boleh lupa, Mak Lang ni.....

Aku : JADI SEKARANG, APA YANG SAYA KENA BUAT? saya dah jauh dlm kes diaorang ni.

Abg Hazri : Hari ni hari keberapa diaorang gaduh?

Aku : 2 hari.... esok dh masuk tiga...

Abg Hazri : Kumpulkan mereka semua esok. Jangan tangguh. Biar mereka selesaikan sesama mereka.

Aku : Saya masih perlu ada di situ ke? mendengar mereka?

Abg Hazri : Nk jadi pengadil ni, Mak Lang.... kena AMANAH, PENDENGAR YANG BAIK DAN TAK BERAT SEBELAH. kalau Mak Lang rasa Mak Lang mampu, jadilah....

Ya Allah, sungguh aku tak nampak semua ni. benarlah kata Sir Balbir.... "THE PROBLEM OF OUR PEOPLE IS, WE ALWAYS LOOK UP TO THAT CERTAIN MATTER RATHER THAN OBSERVING THE WHOLE PICTURE."

After realising the wrong step I've done.... where showing I'm too late in handling this case even if I want to, I took up my phone.... and typed more or less like this...

"You guys need to talk.... It's gonna be hard, but we have to look at something more important. Dosa besar bila tak bertegur sapa antara umat Islam. So, 3pm at cafe?"

Sent.

No reply.... still hoping they would give me positive response...

And today is the day....
guess what? THEY ALL ARE COMING! YEAY!!!!
but the guys are late.... -_-

better late than never....
Afraid I'm not needed, I stayed in my room, infront of my lappy_baby.... writing this...
Hoping and praying the best for them.... and waiting for their news....
They are my friends.... their bad, their good.... they still are my friends...

Love them hell much....

Quotes of the day : YOU WERE GIVEN THIS LIFE BECAUSE YOU'RE STRONG ENOUGH TO LIVE IT ^_^




Saturday, 15 March 2014

Tring~~~~~~

Mudah bagi mulut menuturkan kita baik-baik sahaja.
Tapi tidak hati kita.
Sekalipun mulut kata, ok...
Hati tak semestinya kata yang sama, malah boleh sambut 'K.O'

Inilah lemahnya manusia. Langkahku khilaf bila ku hanya mendengar satu pihak. Sedangkan cerita ini mengenai dua pihak... Bertumbuk satu tangan tak akan sakit, betul tak?
Kenapa aku pakai perumpamaan tu rather than 'Bertepuk satu tangan tak akan berbunyi'?
Sebab after effect utk kisah ini adalah KESAKITAN, KEKECEWAAN... bukannya KEGEMBIRAAN YANG MENYENANGKAN.

Tidak tahu salah siapa. Kemudian baru sedar, tak perlu cari salah siapa.
Semuanya sudah berlaku, mencari salah siapa bukan solusinya.Yang perlu dilakukan, adalah cari APA SALAHNYA.... dan how to overcome.

sometimes, tanya diri sendiri. Engineers are indeed have to find solutions for problems,
but dude.... INI SOAL HATI DAN PERASAAN.... emosi dan persahabatan.
WAYYYY COMPLICATED THAN ENGINEERING BOOKS yang tebal bakkk hanggg tu.

Di satu sisi, jiwa perempuan aku menyokong si gadis yang rapuh hatinya.
yang baru kehilangan insan tercintanya.
yang memerlukan belaian seorang lelaki saat dan tika ini.
yang kini... menjadi seseorang yang semakin asing dalam kehidupan aku dan rakan-rakan.

Di satu sisi yang lain, jiwa sahabat aku menyokong si jejaka yang lara perasaannya.
yang dulu berjanji akan setia.
yang kini sudah bertukar rasa.
kerana sudah berputus asa pada si gadis.

here comes the cliche parts.... SHE'S WAY TOO LATE.
Nak salahkan dia? tak boleh jugak.
Nak salahkan si jejaka? pun tak boleh~

Put that jejaka aside first. Si gadis....
Semuanya bergantung kepada dia kini.
Dia yang membiarkan dirinya terus hanyut dan tenggelam.
Dia yang membiarkan dirinya terus disedut dalam black hole tu.

Kami dah tak boleh buat apa-apa. sungguh. Sebab sekarang ni semua depends on her. aku repeat.... ON HER....

Dia yang kena bangun. Wake up dari segala cage of emotion yang dia simpan. Dia yang kena bantu diri dia.
Kami dah tak boleh buat apa-apa. Bukan kami tak nak.... tapi kami tak mampu.
Sekalipun kami duk cakap macam-macam dengan dia, halang orang sana-sini supaya tak sakitkan dia,
tapi kalau dia masih KEJAR KESAKITAN tu dan biarkan DIRI TERUS JATUH, it has no use then.

sedang dia terlalu memikirkan kesedihan sendiri, dia tak sedar dia sedang melukai orang-orang di sekelilingnya... aku pernah berada di situasi itu.
Being too selfish sampai aku ignore mereka yang berusaha bagai gila utk celebrate my day just sebab something yang remeh! when I realised what I did.... I FELT TERRIBLY BAD, AWFUL, SUCKS... and ape2 jelaa.... I acted like a jerk to those who I loved.

Aku tanak dia ulang kesilapan aku yang sama. Sebab sekarang... she is doing it. And even worse, she's hurting someone yang aku sayang dah macam adik aku. But ironically, for being too nice..... dia rela berdiam dan terus disakiti dalam diam oleh si gadis. I'm also felt that pain, for watching both of them faking their smiles....

Aku tak salahkan si gadis for being in that headache situation, but honey...
JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE'S LEFT... THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOUR HAPPINESS IS GONE.
IT'S ALL DEPENDS ON YOU... NOT ANYBODY ELSE!

it may be hard to ask you to move on, but still sampai bila si gadis nak jadi macam ni?
Sampai bila dia nak rapuh macam ni?
Sampai bila dia nak meratapi kesedihan dan biarkan diri dia sink in darkness sebelum dia nak berdiri semula, teguh di atas kaki dia sendiri?
I'll be there for you when you cry, but not when you lied.

Kekecewaan aku ialah bila kau beri aku harapan kau akan maju ke hadapan but kau kembali cari pil kesakitan itu dan sekarang.... you're OVERDOSED with that pain.

I am no one, aku tahu tu. Tapi harap kau ingat.... kita ada satu sama lain.... before, today, and insya-Allah till Jannah...


The Starting Point

Here goes the first story, ever.
The starter for any other stories that will come up later.

Grown up in a big-big-bigggggg family is such a blessing for me.
Heavenly blessing by Allah Ta'ala.
But guys, behind the happiness smile, there's a book of sad stories that ever once made my family stayed in the darkness.

Membesar dengan air mata kekecewaan seorang ibu...
Terhadap anak-anak terdahulu....
Membesar dengan keretakan hati seorang ayah...
Terhadap mereka...
Buat aku didik diri sejak kecil...
Cukup air mata sedih yang mengalir...
Someone have to WAKE UP and change everything.

If I ever be the same as them...
Macam mana dengan adik2 aku?
Macam mana dengan those little bunnies?
Someone... kena start jd inspirational factor.
And officially... I MADE MYSELF READY FOR THAT RESPONSIBILITY.

Since then, aku promised diri sendiri.
The only air mata yang akan turun dari wajah berkedut mereka adalah TEARS OF HAPPINESS.
Watching me up there on the stage, holding tight that metal thing...
with my DEGREE in it.
Degree of Civil Engineering in Universiti Teknologi Petronas.

So that one day,
aku akan dengar, little bunnies tu cakap 'Nak berjaya macam Alang.'
aku akan dengar, my parents cakap 'Ni anak aku! Dia berjaya sebagai manusia!'

Someone kena start.
And disini, di Universiti Teknologi Petronas.
Aku memulakan langkah sebagai anak perantau yang jauh meninggalkan zon selesa di Selatan.
Meluaskan Kuasa di tempat orang.

Berjumpa dengan mereka yang brought up those important roles dalam hidup aku.
Yang create those moments... suka dan duka...
Yang buat jurnal hidup aku selalu hectic...
Yang akan menghiasi SIMPLY BEING AWESOME.

Me.... appoints myself as THE STARTING POINT.

Spreading Wings

Ohaiyo >_^

Nama diberi Nurul Faradila binti Sambas.
Digelar.... Fara, Dila, Alang, Mak Lang... Panda....
anything, you named it. But I prefer Fara, dear <3

Kisah-kisah dalam blog ini kisah biasa...
Tapi biasa-biasa kisah ini,
Ada juga ISTIMEWANYA.

Orang lain mungkin berkata, cerita dalam novel bolehlah bahagia.
Tapi pernah terfikir tak?
Novel itu sebenarnya based on reality of human's life?
Pernah tak? Pernah tak?

Babak-babak cliche...
Jumpa guys, fall in love at the first sight, lelaki berlaku jahat pada wanita yang dia suka,
kahwin paksa but then happy... etc
Semua tu terjadi....dan tak mustahil future akan happily ever after.

Because why?
Allah tak tgk masa lampau.
Allah tgk betapa kita bertaubat dan move on.
THE PRESENT US.

SIMPLY BEING AWESOME....
here I am... gonna share some story and might changing opinions pada sesiapa yang sudi.

And here we go... SPREADING THE WINGS~